Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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