She's JV to your varsity
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
