I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
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Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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