White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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