did you get engaged???
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
