i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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