i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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