well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
