It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"