i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.