if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
