I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary