doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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