Are we in a gay sports bar?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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