I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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