We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
