I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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