Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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