Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
