I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
