well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
