Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
