All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
