when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
