I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
