More tranny stories later!
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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