Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
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i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
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Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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