i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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