omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
