Dual....:-)
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
