i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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