She's JV to your varsity
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
