More tranny stories later!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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