As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
