i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Operation Purity has been aborted
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
