Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
