i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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