I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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