I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
