Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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