Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
