i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
