I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
