It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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