he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
