Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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