The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This baby is an asshole
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
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