I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
