Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
