Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
