I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
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i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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