I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
