There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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