girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
