he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
