didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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