Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
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