I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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