Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
40s are totally the cure
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
