Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
