When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
