Quick, to the slutcave!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
