worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
