We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I have post one night stand depression
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