im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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