How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
