Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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