Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
