the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think your dad took our porno
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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